2112E9E2-59FE-400F-B7CA-16409FBFBA50.jpegNext March will be ten years since we went on our 1st date. Our love in the beginning was like gasoline, it burned hot, intense, fast but it went out a few times just like when burning with gasoline, so we made a decision instead of instant and blazing, we aimed for lasting and warm. Instead of a bonfire, we worked on finding the biggest hearth log we could find, one that didn’t have to be stoked constantly and gave off steady heat, after some searching, we found it, well He found us.

We focused our love for one another on Christ rather than what the other one did for the other. We tried to imitate the love that Christ has for us, unmatchless and unearned. At times Donald is like Christ, merciful, full of grace, and patient, giving me all the love I dont deserve. Likewise I play the part of Christ when Donald isnt very loveable. In those moments I rehearsed this saying to myself, “if it were me in his shoes, If I was the one commiting the offenses, I would want him to be merciful to me.” I try to remember the good times, even looking through old pictures to bring back those warm feelings that Satan has desperately tried to make cold.

Sometimes it’s 50/50, others it’s 80/20, heck at one time it was 99/1. Marriage cannot be defined by one event, especially when we are talking about a lifetime, there’s to many good times in the past and so many more to experience in the future to let a loss of focus in one instance dictate the rest of your lives.

{{You wouldn’t stop driving forever if one time it rained so hard you couldn’t see the road? No, you slow down through it, all your senses heightened, you make no haughty decision to speed through it in hopes of getting through the scary part and safely home. You may even pull over, with your hazard lights on, and wait for the storm to pass. But you certainly don’t get out of the car, throw your keys down and walk away.}}

When the storms of infidelity or abandonment blow in, it doesn’t always have to result in mass destruction, there are relief efforts, there is the possibility of restoration and rebuilding, but it will take work and I believe there need to be sincere Volunteers that will come along side y’all to help hold the frames up while y’all nail them back together, not people just wanting to witness the devastation first hand and possibly loot anything that may be left, but true helpers, surround yourselves with those kind of people. Just like with any natural disaster there are laborers and there are prayer warriors, have both.

Now I’m not saying that divorce isn’t an option, I’m only stating it’s not the ONLY option.

In this world we live in, a woman is stupid or a pushover if reconciliation is accomplished with her spouse and a man is told you can’t make a whore into a housewife. Truth is, if both parties can forgive the past and weather through the storm together they are stronger after, as a tree sinks its roots deeper into the soil during a storm, let Christ be your soil.

Likewise just as a relationship can be rebuilt, sometimes it has to be deemed condemned, just like some homes after a natural disaster can be irreparable, a relationship can be also, especially if you’re in the repairing process alone and the other party isn’t seeking repentance and reconciliation. Donald and I don’t have all the answers, we slip and fail each other daily but it’s a lot easier to get up when Christ is who we keep our eyes fixed on.

We try to remember Satan is our enemy not one another, Satan is trying his hardest to destroy marriages and families because a broken family is an easier target. We as Christians should never laugh or make derogatory comments about a fellow Christian who is in a storm, we should mourn with them, come beside them in support, love them the way Christ loved his apostles. We are all in this sin stricken world together, we need to be supportive of one another and give Godly, untainted from the world, advice if asked. We should be praying for those affected by such storms and pray that God helps us be a lighthouse to those who are still out at sea weathering such storms, because we cannot foresee what storms we may have to hunker down through ourselves.