In celebrating the half year mark for this little blog I wanted to share the FB post that was the launch pad for this corner of the blogosphere I call home so now let us all lift our coffee mugs which I hope are still at least lukewarm and clink them together in a toast for many more months of comfort and convicting truths..I’m so glad you’re here!
As I sat there watching you smile, giggle, and splash around in the tub; my mind went back to last Spring when I took that pregnancy test. I was exhausted, your older brother wasn’t even 1 yet, and your two older sisters also demanded a lot of attention even though they were 6 and 3. It was 1 am and I knew that test was going to betray me, no mercy on an exhausted momma, it was as if one pink line was the line of sanity but two were the beginning of complete chaos..Or so I thought. You see my sweet, people will attempt to contort your views of many things in this world to align with theirs, and I fell victim to the same; “Don’t you know what causes that?!”, “Oh my! Y’all are crazy!”, “How can you afford another one?!”. I knew what was to follow after we revealed the secret of you..I let those people and their feelings affect mine toward you. I didn’t want you, I let them convince me I couldn’t handle another baby. I felt as though our family was complete, I had given your father two beautiful daughters and the son he always wanted. Heck! I even had all their middle names rhyme and I was fresh out of a rhyming name for you! I kept you a secret, even from your daddy until he flat out asked me. I cried a lot because I believed the lie that I would be overwhelmed instead of trusting God’s promise to sustain me. Of course then I would feel guilty for feeling that way about you with so many women desperately wanting to be a momma. But I say all that to tell you that God doesn’t give us what we want but what we need. Tonight I saw that to be so true, your brother who was tender while helping me wash your hair, needs you to teach him how to be tender, kind, patient, and merciful. Your older sisters need you to teach them how to be maternal, helpful, responsible, and caring. Your Daddy needs a true “daddy’s girl”, and you are just that! I need you to teach me about God’s sovereignty and not to let others beliefs and emotions diminish mine. I need you to continue to teach me to “never say never!” I may not be bringing my “A game”, you may not have all the modern baby gear, and the only pictures I have of you are the ones I try to remember when you turn another month or when one of your siblings plays photo shoot with my phone, catching only bits and pieces of you (surely we can piece together a full head shot, right?!?)But I promise you this; I want you. I love you Margo. I sincerely look forward to learning more throughout the years with you my little caboose.