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You ever have that day, week, month, or maybe even an entire year where it seems as if every minute that flies by is carrying a load of crap on its wings and inevitably drops it directly onto your head? Imagine me standing in front of you, sympathetically nodding my head donned with crap; I feel ya girl. But hey! There’s hope! Because you know what crap is good for?! Fertilizer.

It’s natural and ridiculously simple to get ticked off at the mess that’s now on your head; leaving your mind spinning on how to clean it up, maybe it’s trickling down blocking your eyesight resulting in sudden blindness of the path set in front of you, perhaps it landed on your shoulders and you’re buckling under the weight, sure to be squashed by the load of crap. Don’t worry; you aren’t alone. I’m going to show you how I use that crap for fertilizer, girl!

How can I possibly know what crap you’re wading through?!

I don’t, but I know Someone Who does, and He never leaves us to fend for ourselves.

Let me briefly just tell you about my crap first; God granted me the spiritual gift of evangelism/teaching paired with the talent of writing. Ultimately I want to take what He has given me and, just as the parable of the talents, I long to please Him by being a good and faithful servant by multiplying that which He’s given me. I most certainly do NOT want to displease Him by playing it safe and hiding it away by burying it where no one but myself can see and profit from it.

I decided to go all in. I planned on hiring a coach, someone to help me set goals and keep me accountable, someone to guide me in marketing and brand building, someone to catapult me and my ministry into success. Ran the numbers by my husband; No.

(I wanted to hand the glory and responsibility of success over to someone other than God. My fear>my faith.)

Frustration and animosity set in with plenty of snarkiness and eye cutting…ANNNNDD aggravated sighing accompanied by tears. (Imagine a toddler ticked because you said “No.” to their pleas for McDonald’s…ashamedly, not my finest moment.)

Next morning I awake to a notification that a previous post titled, Tithe Your Time!, was flagged for sexual content/nudity (I would NEVER.) leaving me in FaceBook jail. Which in turn, prohibits me from going live. I didn’t figure this sweet little fact out until I was, as you can guess, attempting to go live and draw a winner for the giveaway I put on. (Like and follow Confiding Confidently on FaceBook for [offensive] comforting and convicting truths.) Not only does it block me from going live on my blog page, but any page; including the women’s ministry page that I share messages on, and was scheduled to go live the next morning!

The temptation to throw in the towel and go home, quitting all ministry works and writings was SO loud. The deceitful thoughts that crept into my mind, sent by none other than the Great Deceiver, telling me that I’m not cut out for it and that I heard God wrong; deafened the encouragement God sent by other’s word of mouth.

There I stood, crap piled high on my head, tears blinding my eyes and streaming my cheeks, shoulders slumped from exhaustion and awaiting defeat; then I remembered something beautiful, a promise I had read and unknowingly etched on my heart…

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then am I strong. 2 Cor. 12:10

I felt So. Dang. Weak.  I felt a bit defeated and discouraged. I remembered that feelings aren’t facts and even though I felt that way, truthfully I was not.

I am strong because of Christ in me.

I know awesome things are planned for this ministry because the Devil wouldn’t be attacking it so hard if not! I see the crap as assurance that something absolutely breathtaking is on the horizon!

Instead of allowing that crap to ruin your garden; use it to fertilize it. Use it as nourishment to feed the beauty that is to rise from the ashes. If you want to cry, cry; The most beautiful flowers only bloom after the sky sheds its tears! Become content with the crap; heck, give thanks for it! Because without it, there’d be no fertilizer.